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10 Things to Do When You Have Nothing to Do

1. Pull into a gas station and use the window washer to wash your entire car.

2. Ask a bank teller to break a $100 bill for you. Then when asked how you want it done say, “in hundreds”.

3. Call a political candidate’s campaign office and ask them for a donation to your non-candidacy.

4. Ask a security guard how it feels knowing that in all the action movies the security guards are always the first to die.

5. When you get credit card offers in the mail, stuff the prepaid envelopes with toilet paper and mail them back.

6. Call your bank and ask them to add your checking account onto the $700 billion government bail out plan.

7. Find someone who is big into worrying about the threat of global warming, remind them of their own carbon dioxide and body heat contribution to the planet, and ask them to stop it.

8. Ask a judge if you can get away with murder as long as you can convince a jury of your peers ahead of time that it is justified.

9. Send a bill to every TV station, radio station, cell phone Company, and Satellite Company, charging them an “access fee” for the waves they broadcast through your property. If they refuse payment, charge them with trespassing.

10. Send a bill to every TV station, radio station, cell phone Company, and Satellite Company, charging them an “access fee” for the waves they broadcast through your property. If they refuse payment, charge them with trespassing.


To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. !

3. Every Time Someone Asks You to Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a
headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, yelling 'Run for Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'